Can I just go back to 2011?
The year before it all began. The year before I let boys in; the year before all of the pain and the heartbreak. Life was smooth, easy and so enjoyable. I didn’t know this then. There really is some truth to the saying, “You don’t know what you have till it’s gone”. I did not cherish my “me time” enough. I was curious, and oh well, you know what happened to the curious cat.
Since 2012, it’s been an endless rollercoaster ride of joy, sadness, happiness, pain, love, anger, hate, second chances, a bit of happiness, pain again, a glimmer of hope, maybe a third chance, tears, hopes dashed, more pain, and more tears. It’s been really tiring, to say the least.
If I could escape from all of this, I’d go to 2011, and have a chat with ‘younger me’. I’ll sit her down, and tell her:
“Baby girl, a large(sadly) number of these boys are nowhere near worth it. They will only waste your time, break your heart, and cause you to shed too many tears. Very few of the ‘I love you’s, ‘I won’t hurt you’s, and ‘I won’t hurt you’s you are going to hear are going to be true. Most of the ‘I’ve changed. I promise you’s, ‘Just give me another chance to prove myself’s will be blatant lies, sweetheart. They will only lead to heartaches and countless sleepless nights.”
“So, my darling, read your Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and your John Green in peace. Listen to your Adele and your Jhene Aiko. Watch your Nickelodeon and your Telemundo. Just take care of yourself for me, because these boys won’t.”
Oyinda Loves Books 