Everyone has goals in life. Goals are a fundamental part of life. Life goals, work goals, daily/monthly goals, academic goals, and all other sorts of goals. Goals are important, because without them we have no direction/aim, and nothing to work for.
In life, there are goals you set for yourself. “I want to be married when I’m 25”, “I want to own my my first car by 20”, “Before I’m 30, I want to have built my own house”. These are goals you work towards as you get older. There are also school/academic goals- “I want to graduate with a first class degree”, “I want to have 6 A’s this semester”.
Many times we set goals based on the lives of people we see around us. We see people doing/living well, and we want our lives to be like that.
This post is focused on so-called relationship goals. When couples post (cute)pictures online, we’re quick to comment “awwwwww” *with a thousand w’s*, and “goals”. We pray to have what they have based on the pictures we see on social media. It might be the boy/man posting cute pictures of the girl/both of them with adorable captions, and it might be the girl/woman doing the posting. It makes the single people go “aww” and say a little prayer for that kind of relationship.
This is where the saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” really comes into play.
A lot of people forget that you see only what they want you to see and at times, behind the cute pictures and sweet captions, horrible things are happening behind the scenes. Almost all celeb relationships, marriages included, have been set as goals by people watching/fans, and lots of them have come crashing down with terrible and dark secrets being revealed about what really went on in the relationship. I used to adore celebrity couples and they used to be goals to me too. The last straw that broke the camel’s back, however, was Khloe and Lamar’s separation and the aftermath. Their relationship was everything. The whirl-wind romance and quick wedding, all the love and adorable display on their TV show “Khloe and Lamar”.I refused to believe the news when I first heard it. Alas, it turned out to be mostly a façade. After that, I gave up on celeb relationships as my goals.
Not only celebrity relationships- relationships of friends, neighbours, course mates etc displaying major cuteness and PDA, but you’ll be shocked by what goes on behind closed doors. I used to idolize this girl’s relationship because of how her boyfriend always posted her pictures on his Instagram and I ALMOST complained about it to my own boyfriend “see this boy, does he have two heads? Why can’t you post my own pictures like that?” But I cautioned myself LOL. When I got to find out what was actually going on in that relationship, I was shocked. He was abusive and cheating on her. All na packaging LOL.
It was not all about social media posts and PDA, that’s not why you should idolize other people’s relationships. You should want to build a relationship with your partner based on your own terms and wants. You should be friends first, trust and love each other, and every other thing will follow.
Now don’t misinterpret me, I am not saying that all social media relationships are lies and full of hidden secrets, I am just saying that you shouldn’t idolize them too much, or even at all. I mean, some people only want to be in relationships for the cute/fancy pictures, not being ready for the hard work it entails.
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