It’s really insane how fickle and temporary people and relationships can be – here one minute, gone the next. It’s like no matter who they are, what they are to you, and how long you’ve known each other, there’s no certainty that they’d still be there the next day, in a couple of weeks, or months. For instance, you could be making birthday plans with or for a friend months ahead, and when said birthday arrives, you’re no longer friends. You could be making anniversary plans with your partner and before you know it, you’ve broken up.
I personally cannot count how many “new friends” I’ve made and gotten fairly close to, and then in a couple of weeks or months they’re gone. It’s mostly due to my or their inability to keep up much or one thing or the other. It’s just really annoying, you know.
In light of realizing that many people and relationships can be or are very temporary, we really should learn to better appreciate the ones that have stood the test of time. I am teaching myself this every day, and making a conscious effort to not only be a better person in my romantic relationship, but also in my platonic relationships. I still have people in my life that have been in it for almost 10 years, and one person that I have known for (I think) 16 years (excluding family ofc). It’s really not easy, I must admit, because life is hard and I don’t just say it because it’s a saying – it really is hard.
So, when I think about how I still have these amazing long lasting friendships, and relationships with these wonderful people, how I have made myself a better person in terms of reaching out, I know that I am doing something right.
Now, there are things that are way beyond your control when it comes to relationships and holding them together. For one, you have the other person’s behavior and character flaws. I won’t deny my character flaws. I know I have terrible mood swings that can make being around me unbearable. When you see that their characters don’t flow with yours, and you are constantly trying to make it work or overlooking it for the sake of your friendship, I think you should let it go or be friends from a distance. If a friend is being purposely rude and disrespectful, say bye bye. Friendship no be by force. When you are the one always trying to keep the flame of the friendship burning, please just go. You’re the one always reaching out, and the only thing they know how to say is “you just forgot somebody”, abeg free them. And then it’s even worse when the only time they hit you up first is when they need you. Like, immediately you get an “out of the blue” message from them, you know they need you. It’s sad, really, but it is what it is.
I think I’ll just end this by appreciating the people in my life whose relationship with me has withstood the test of time. I know I’m not an easy person and knowing I have you still in my life tells me that I’m doing something right. And to those who have come and gone, for whatever reason, I hope you’re okay wherever you are.
Peace.
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