Lagos is a place, like the place of all places, especially in this Nigeria. If you don’t live in Lagos full time, all I have to say is a hearty congratulations. Sure, you might miss most of the concerts and cool social events and hangouts, but what you’re also missing is dust, smoke, dirt, horrid odors, hours and hours inside gridlock traffic (then when you finally make it out, no visible reason for the hold up o), LOL should I go on? Lagos is the worst okay?!
When I used to come home from school during previous holidays, the only places I went to were Magodo and Ikeja, and I thought was I experiencing was the real hold up. Then, I got a job on the island, and that was when the real meaning of hold up revealed itself to me. I mean, I left home by 5:45am and got to work past 10. LMAO what type of madness?!
Also, Lagos is full of overpriced EVERYTHING!!! I don’t even get. How is the same movie showing in cinemas across Nigeria, and cinemas in Ilorin and Ibadan are showing said movie for 1,000 naira (even 700 naira on some days), and cinemas in Lagos are showing it for 2,500 naira or even 3,500 naira? Bear in mind that there is only ONE cinema in Ilorin, and maybe 2/3 in Ibadan compared to more than 10 in Lagos. LMAO make it make sense please because I cannot.
Still on the subject of overpriced everything, the food in many Lagos restaurants are ridiculously overpriced, and incredibly sub-par. If you’re not holding AT LEAST 10k, you can’t get food for 2 people and at the end of the day, the food is nothing to write home about. Don’t even get me started about the places that sell ice cream for 800 naira per-scoop.
Lagos is mostly an eyesore, and when you’re coming in from other states by road, or from the airport at Ikeja, the first thing that welcomes you is, you guessed it, traffic. Lagos traffic is unbearable OMG!!! If you’re an avid user of Google Maps like me, just perform this little experiment. Pick a time when the road will be relatively free, say 10pm on a Sunday and check the distance between two hot zones, say, Lekki and Ikeja. I tried this with Ayobo and Ajah, and I got 2h20m (when the road was free o). Note the time, then search again during rush hours, like Monday mornings and Friday evenings. When I did this, Ajah to Ayobo was 4h15m LMAO. What the hell kind of traffic?! See ehnnnn, I left home on a Monday by 4am so I could move to my uncle’s place at Ajah to make my commute easier, and there was traffic in Lagos that morning AS EARLY AS 5!!! LMAO ARE YOU GETTING ME?!
Lagos is also full of angry and mad people, likeeeee, na everybody get craze for here. When I enter public transport, I also have to wear the craze and bone face. In the land of mad people, you also have to be insane. Lagos is draining, and honestly, living in Lagos shortens your lifespan. Not everyone gets the chance I do to stay somewhere very close to work (where I stay is currently less than 5 minutes to my office). If I had to come from Ayobo everyday, I’d spend nothing less than 7 hours on the road, if not 8 or 9. Add that to the 8 hours at work, and that means I’m out of my house for 15-17 hours a day. I’d have to be waking up by 4, and getting back home around 11. That’s the reality for a lot of people in Lagos, and it’s so sad.
If you live in Lagos, you definitely can relate to my pain. If you don’t live here and you keep dreaming of Lagos as per you want to come, plis dear, don’t. Don’t be fooled by the false hype and all the “cool” places and things you can do in Lagos my dear, this place is hell on earth. Sure, I might start a blog series exploring food and activities in different Lagos locations, but just bear in mind that I had to endure hold up, smells, dirt, dust, and other bad bad things before getting there LOL.
Oh, have I talked about the weather? LMAO. I never go out in Lagos with makeup o. I don’t have the money for ghen ghen waterproof abi na sun-proof makeup, and if I step out with basic makeup in Lagos, the sun will have me looking like a clown. Harmattan has started in many other parts of Nigeria but Lagos is still hella hot with this merciless sun, ahhhhh. Even when I went for LFW, and to my friend’s wedding, I went with my bare face o. I know I’m a stunna and a slay queen with or without makeup so my lip gloss was enough for me. Lagos is hot as fuck even at night, and I just don’t get it!
I’ve been complaining about Lagos for years and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I really can’t wait to get the hell out. If I end up settling down here likeeee getting married and popping babies in this Lagos as it is like this, I’ve most likely been jazzed. Save me, guys.
That’s all… for now. There’s always stuff to complain about in this Lagos, so rest assured an update to this post is coming soon.
Bye bye, thanks for reading, love yaa.
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