Idk if that’s the right word but that’s the only word that’s coming to my head. I miss my groove, I miss my flow, I miss being able to create when i want, i miss having a handle on my life. It’s mad hard knowing i have all these things I have to do and need to do and want to do but for some reason, I just can’t. At the beginning of this year I had so many plans for how the year was going to go creative-wise. I remember sharing my blog-post plan with Morolayo and being so excited to write. Now, though? I laugh in all types of writer’s block and creative blocks.
I love to create. I love my overactive imagination (even though it also makes me overthink too much). I love to write and I love to draw but I can hardly find any motivation, inspiration, or willpower to do any of that anymore. I also used to love to read so much. I read so many books and bought so many books. I found joy, solace, and inspiration in books, but now I can’t even bring myself to read 5 pages at a stretch. Am I broken? Hmm.
Honestly I think something in the water at camp ruined everything for me. I was the saddest I’d ever been in years while I was in camp and when I came out, everything was just wonky. I tried so many times to get my groove back and I failed miserably. It’s been 3 months now or maybe 4, but I still can’t seem to get back to where I was before camp. It’s depressing, it’s demotivating, and it’s heartbreaking. I cant string thoughts together, I cant visualize stuff and bring it to life anymore. This is the worst I’ve ever felt about myself as a creative and it gets worse everyday because it’s mad frustrating.
Another issue I know I struggle with is time management. I talked to Oluchi about it recently and I STILL haven’t gotten back to her about setting up a schedule. I feel like I wake up in the morning and before I know it, it’s time to sleep again and I can’t pinpoint one thing I’ve done to develop myself or just worked on for my own self. It’s annoying but I think I’m not ready to work on that yet bc there’s too much workstuff going on and stuff just keeps getting piled on. It’s all a mess.
So, my dears, if you know any way or method or any thing I can do to get back my groove or at least SOME of it, please send a message on WhatsApp or an email at adeotioyinda@gmail.com pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeee.
Oyinda Loves Books 