Many times, I see myself replaying scenarios in my head and imagining things you would do or say in certain situations. I have never for once forgotten you pops♥️. I miss being your baby girl, daddy’s girl and your Ajoke.
Even as it looks like time has passed or “it’s not so recent” as some people feel when having discussions with third party, it has never really healed. For many years, I have numbed the pain and tried to live in my present where I am more conscious about things that can be done now in your absence. Unconsciously, I still see my self spending time imagining the world with you in it. In recent times, I have been more confused of how things should be and needed “your” guidance.
One thing I have realized is that, no matter how hard it is to live with someone, especially someone called family, their absence is never better than their presence. I remember the last few months we spent together, we fought a lot and it seemed as though I couldn’t do anything right. I was always complaining because you just were not satisfied with anything I did. I remember how you just wanted me to have that sense of responsibility instead of being a big baby.
You made promises to me Abbey that you did not keep😢. I remember when I wrote the Air force secondary school entrance exam, you drove me along with my home lesson teacher in the car, and you categorically said how I would not have a problem when I am in secondary school because “mathematics was your forte”. I still can’t forget J’childrens open house where we have projects and we would present to parents. Dad, you did that project for my class 😂. I would leave assignments on the dinning table when I find it difficult in getting them knowing you would do it no matter how late you got back. I write a note with everything I would need you to do and as sweet as you were you would answer it in a paper only for me copy it into my note. The next evening if you get back early, you explain it to me and put me through. Also, you had this very big encyclopedia that you made me use to get the meanings of the words I didn’t know. Papa! I really miss you 😔
Abbey, you made sacrifices for us and you instilled that sense of responsibility in me. You were so free at heart and liked to give. Abbey your heart was precious and indeed to know you is to love you. I love every ounce of your being and existence. Thanks for all you did❤️.
10 years after, how do I feel ? Still feeling like you travelled and days when I miss you. I shut myself from the world and cry myself to sleep. I really wish you were here. I really wish that you travelled and there’s certainty you would be coming back.
I looked at the banner done for your remembrance and I miss you more. Well, many may wonder what’s special about ten years. Many have lost theirs thirty years and they probably aren’t so emotional about it.
The truth is it’s never a competition. Never have been, never will be. I realized vanity at its peak, I was mad at myself at how I have survived the past ten years without you. That same part of me made me feel guilty at how, I supposedly have been able to live these years without your embrace and comforting words. I resolved it with myself that there are reasons for everything but it’s not easy. It looked so real like you were standing before me.
I wish one day you will wake up and say “ta da! You are here”😥. We are all grown now, dad and your baby is not so little. I hope you are proud of us. Sometimes I just want to crawl into the shell and not hear anything that anyone did. Your wife indeed is a strong woman. She suffered for us o. I remember her waking up 4:30am was the norm – so we could leave the house by 6am and get to school by 6:30am, so mum could go to work and pick her own students to school.
I remembered when she still supplied school bags to her customers while still running her school to make ends meet.
10 years down the line and I looked at those that analyzed our life like they were God. This God is not man oo and his ways are wondrous. I remember when they analyzed our lives so much that they had an estimated timeline in their head that we won’t survive and we will suffer. Where are they now ? The reverse is the case.
The ones that promised to pay our fees and we didn’t see till tomorrow or when they even paid they tell the whole world like it’s a trophy they’ve won. We have another set that will frustrate the living day before they help. You either stay at their office close to 7/8 hours just to see them. Only if they knew, life is indeed funny. I am glad we cut all of them off.
Looking back at the past ten years from March 19, 2011 till date. I can only see Gods goodness and unending faithfulness. Through it all he constantly reminded us that He is the father to fatherless and husband to the widow. I realized that walking with God is like driving a car without holding the wheels and you confidently climb every bump and go through bad roads with any form of accident😇.
Mind blowing right ? Grace they call it. The grace that signifies one man out of a hundred men. The grace that simply explains that age has nothing to do with success. Grace is what makes it look like you have it all together even when you don’t know anything you are doing.
I look back and I think of the best gifts you gave to us. I realized they were a lot like morals, and understanding the privileges we could have in life if we take education seriously and many others. Amongst all of them, the best gift was giving me A Good Mother. I think about it and it just resonates well with me. You did incredibly well by choosing someone with a good heart. This is someone that took care of the family with little, stood by you when there was no one, prayed and fought so many silent battles to keep the family to what it is today. Through many challenges we faced, always wore a smiling face. The Queen of my heart is what I call her. She never likes a dull face and would do anything to put a smile on our faces.
This is the one person that calls me to tell me how beautiful I am 😂. She never stops buying me underwear’s and clothes and shoes and bags. Keeps treating me like a princess 👸. My queen mother! The love of my entire life! People look at you and wonder how you do it ? I wonder how you do it too? Even though we fight a lot, you remain an OG 💪.
Family remains so important to me and regardless of whatever, they keep me going.
It’s been a wonderful ten years and I am very optimistic of the future. Indeed you are no more but your legacy, love, and well meaning intentions for us still lives on. Many good you have done we are reaping from. I love you daddy. Thank you for all you did and still doing 😘.
U
About The Post
To commemorate the 10th anniversary of her father’s passing, my frie
Oyinda Loves Books 